I am a uterus for hire

she said ........... let me give myself to him as the woman I know I am. He is a strong and solid man, a good soul......... enterprising and ambitious,............ a handsome man. He works hard like a punished mule. I will take care of him, and bear his children, because I am a floater, a dreamer....... a uterus for hire, a drudge, a trollop, a caretaker ........... I am my brother's keeper and I am known for holdin' it all together, even when the rains come, and the sun disappears for so long that we forget the color of the light and remember only the naked times, when spread out in the meadows of our youth we gamboled in time, without curtailment, in moments jammed with conjurers and marionettes that packed the travelling circus of our imaginations, ............. trippin' and rippin' through the thin walls of deceit, ........ keepin' pieces of the fever in that separated us from God and intimacy and love and joy and hope.

the fool stood still garbed in the vestiges of some dark dreamlike trance called memory as a night bird quiet and secretive whirred its way through flight into a disappearing future black with a silence that bode no invitation for moonlight or the distant dawn. Wet streaks from rain mixed with tears dribbled and eaked out their meagre existence as they worked their way through the parchment of her face turned down now in regret, low and broken like a beaten bitch cringing in her wounds as time, impervious to the tragedy that pled for sustenaince moved on leaving nothing in its wake but emptiness and silence

and sadness

permeating everything her shadow fell upon, where, if light had ever dwelt there, saved nothing for the human eye to proof from and establish any thought of what it could have been to watch a white sun float across the small horizon line that girded her like some metal corset of the soul.

he took her away from herself that day, as his own departure into phantasy led him to the center of a passion only men could bear, a squeezing in the sinews of desire that shot through all his concentrated flesh tight and wrapped around the bone and down into his bowels and into the primordial nether lands of territories known only to the free where nothing fit for any language known or ever known could possibly attest to what was felt through shudders tremulously exposing all he ever hid from in his need to keep himself unreachable and distant inside the secrets he believed were his alone

and

she went back to the source of it many times with its indifferent vacancy bathed in a washed out magenta that flashed intermittently ......... seeking only permanence inside her eyes, while repeating, that, which had beguiled her from the start ....... a fleeting sense of God being faithful to his word, and angels in the parking lot bestowing their grace upon her from another neon heaven, offering her forgiveness, and hearkening back to all the promises that once had lived upon his lips ............ he ........... who having passed on through left only his drifter's language on the surface of her love, like drool slatherd from some evil traveler's mouth on a pit stop from Hell and back, that left behind it in its wake only the remnants of her ransacked heart